8 Things You Can Learn From a Breakup

BBreaking up with someone is never easy and it becomes even worse when you are the one being dumped. While there are many lessons you can learn from a breakup, it is still a very lonely experience. When the relationship is officially over, you get into a web of what ifs and whys. But instead of thinking about all of this, why not try and think about the lessons you learnt from that relationship.

Every relationship, whether good or bad, always has a lesson behind it. It taught you what you want-and more importantly, what you don’t want-in your next relationship.

Breakup is hard, but its lessons are enlightening. That is the beauty of life – you always find a truth in paradox.

• Your Happiness and Validation Comes From Within

You don’t need a relationship to be happy. While you might feel overwhelmed with the pain of having broken up, you need to understand, there is much more to life than being in a relationship with someone, especially when that someone did not treat you right. Staying in a relationship at the cost of your self-respect is never the right decision to make.

• The Pain Goes Away

The pain goes away, you might not want to hear it now, but it is true. Time heals all wounds and as difficult as it may be to believe, the pain dims after a while. However, you have to allow yourself to heal. As a defense mechanism, you will find the memories being less painful or as sharp over time, so let them fade. Make it easier for yourself by cutting off all contact with your ex, even if it means, unfriending him on social media so that you can’t stalk him (and make yourself miserable) even if you want to.

• Love is not enough to make a relationship last

As much as we would like to believe in all those fairy tales where love is enough, it is not so. To make a relationship last, unfortunately, love is not enough. Of course, it is very important but the way our significant other treats us, is just as important, if not more. According to Howard Markman, Ph.D., “We kill love by how we treat our partners, by not handling negative feelings well.”

• You can’t change someone

No matter what anyone says, you can’t change someone if they don’t want to.
It probably was for the best that you and your partner broke up if you remember having a lot of discussions of things that were displeasing to you. While opposites do attract, you want to make sure that your partner is satisfying your needs without having to ask them over and over again.

• Learn what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship

Another really important lesson to be learned is getting to know what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship. Breakups help you figure out what is it that you really need when you are involved in a relationship. This will help you understand what your heart really wants and finally, will be able to give it the same.

• There are more fish in the sea

Sometimes, the end of a relationship can leave you feeling completely worthless, unlovable, unattractive and unappealing to other men. However, that’s not really the case. There are many men out there who would be interested in you and while it is not a good idea to start a relationship on a rebound, meeting men and dating again can do wonders for your battered self-esteem. However, do take enough time off to heal, resolve your own issues and insecurities before you dip into the dating pool again.

• Friends are life

True friends help pick up your pieces when you are down and miserable after a breakup. They are the ones who will always be there by your side, and there is nothing better than a breakup to show it.

• No relationship is a waste of time

Whatever you do, never view this relationship as a failure or as waste of your time, no matter how long you and your partner were together for. None of these lessons would be learnt without a breakup.
Infact, think of it this way, break up is actually a blessing; it is just a conspiracy of the universe to lead you to your soul mate. So, happy breakups folks till you find the One.